


Changes

by KerryAnne



Series: Changes [1]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012)
Genre: "Gamera", "angst", "babyhood", "breakups", "cure", "drama", "forgiveness", "heartache", "loss", "monster", "parenting", "polyamory", "turtletots", Age Regression, F/M, Grief, Heartache, Jealousy, Leonardo is an awesome dad, M/M, Raphael is a baby, Turtlecest, losing a child
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-12
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-05-26 07:54:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6230089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KerryAnne/pseuds/KerryAnne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Raph and Don seem to have the ideal life with April and have a baby on the way, but things are radically changed when Raph's turned into a baby and Don's changed into a Gamera. Will their brothers find a cure or will Raph and Don stay that way forever?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Changes

Leo's 17  
Don's sixteen  
Mikey's sixteen (He and Don are bio brothers and fraternal twins)  
Raph's 15

Don looked at his girlfriend, April, who sat next to him on the couch, and said, “What do you want to watch tonight? There’s an interesting documentary on the natural habitat of sea horses on later.”  
“Saw that last time. Why don't we watch a show on parenting? We need to know as much as we can,” April said, rubbing her swollen belly.  
“Sure. Who do you think the father is?”  
“I’m hoping it’s you. If it is, the baby will have your eyes and olive skin and be so cute.”  
“And if….”

“Movie time,” Raph announced, entering the lounge, with a bowl of popcorn and plonking himself down between the lovers. He pressed a kiss to April’s cheek and said, “What are we gonna watch?”  
“Me and April were going to watch a movie, Raph,” Don said irritably. “Have you nowhere else to be?”  
“She’s my girlfriend too, Don, and I wanna spend time with her. Why should ya get her all ta yerself?”

“Actually, Raph,” April said. “We need to talk about this.”  
“Talk ‘bout what? Ya love me and I love ya. We’re all happy together.”

“I’M NOT!” Don roared. “I’m sick of seeing you everywhere I go, Raphael. In the shower, bed. Everywhere. You drive me nuts and I’ve had it. Tell him, April. Tell him how fed up of him you are. His snoring, his leaving the toilet seat up, his messiness, his domineering ways.”  
“Is this true?” Raph asked, staring at April and blinking back tears. “Ya don’t love me no more?”

April stared at her emerald skinned and green eyed lover and couldn’t do it. She couldn’t cause him any pain no matter how much he annoyed her at times. “No,” April said. “Don’s overreacting. I get mad sometimes because of the toilet seat, but if you leave it down, things will be fine.”  
“And ya, Don? Ya really hate me?” Raph asked.

“I’m going to the lab to work,” Don said coldly. “Need some time alone.”  
Raph watched his brother leaving the room and said sadly, “He hates me, doesn’t he, April?”

“No, sweetie,” April said, patting Raph’s shoulder. “He doesn’t mean to blow his top, Raph, but sometimes he wants me all to himself and I feel the same way. I love you, but…We’ll work it out.”  
“This whole sharing thing ain’t workin’ out, is it?” Raph asked, his lower lip trembling.  
“Listen to me, Raph. Don…”  
“Look, I can always call up Mona and go back ta her. I mean, I know she loved me. I can…”  
“I was just mad with you and told Don, Raph. I was venting. That’s all. I don’t want what we have to end and I don’t want you to go back to Mona. You belong with me,” April said, tilting her boyfriend’s chin up. “And I’m not losing you to anyone, least of all an ugly alien. We’ll sort everything out.”  
“Mona’s beautiful. Not ugly, but she ain’t as beautiful as ya and she don’t have my heart. I love ya, April, and I’m always gonna love ya, especially now that yer carryin’ my kid,” Raph said, stroking April’s belly and laying his head down on it. “I can feel it kickin’. Gotta be a boy with how fierce the kickin’ is. My boy. I can’t wait ta meet ya, little one.”  
“It might be Don’s.”  
“No, it’s mine. My gut says it’s mine.”

Leo entered the room, followed by Mikey, and said, “Tempestra was spotted outside the Smithsonian ten minutes ago. Just saw it on the news. We need to get moving.”  
“That girl from the video game, Leo?” Raph asked. “Thought we got rid of her.”  
“I thought so, too, but she’s back. Where’s Don?”  
“Lab.”  
“Mikey, go get him. April, you’ll remain here. I don’t want you anywhere outside. Could be dangerous.”

“All right, Leo,” April said. “But be safe and bring my boys back home to me.”  
“I’m ready,” Don said, entering the room. “Love you, April. Make sure you hydrate and rest and don’t overexert yourself. Don’t want anything happening to you or my baby.”

“My baby,” Raph said.  
“You can argue about this later,” Leo said. “Have to go.”

“Hope it takes after Don,” Mikey said. “Otherwise it’s going to have Raph’s temper. Can you imagine a mini Raph, dudes? That’d be scary!”  
“Heh. You know what’d be worse?” Raph retorted. “A mini Mikey. We already got one stupido, we don’t need another!”  
“Hey, I resemble that remark!” Mikey snapped.

“Quit your bickering,” Leo snapped. “Get in the van.”  
“Whatever ya say, Fearless leader,” Raph said sarcastically. “Us minions will do yer biddin’.”  
“Go!” Leo said, rolling his eyes. 

Raph kissed April gently on her mouth and Don did the same. Then the brothers left in the van and drove to the Smithsonian, Don behind the wheel.

Sometime later, they arrived at the Smithsonian and, looking out of the window, Raph said, “I see that flame haired vixen over there. Hey, lady, why don’t ya mess with someone yer own size?” Raph said, springing out of the van, followed by his brothers. “Leave that little old lady alone!”  
Tempestra had been about to hit a woman with her own walking stick, when she saw the turtles. “You irritating reptiles,” she said, tossing the old lady in the air and grinning when she fell onto the sidewalk and didn’t move. 

“You just killed an innocent lady,” Leo said angrily. “That’s it. Tempestra. I’m going to cut you down to size,” Leo added, advancing menacingly with his katanas. “Come on, guys. Turtle Power!”

“Turtle Power!” Don, Raph and Mikey said in unison, as they flanked Leo.  
“I don’t think so,” Tempestra said, using her kinetic powers to lift Leo up and deposit him in a passing garbage truck. Before anyone could react, she fixed her attention on Don and said, “Your turn, you sarcastic creep. I’m sick of your wisecracks.”

“Uh, no,” Don said. “That’s not me. I’m the brains of the gang. You mean him over there,” Don added, pointing at Raph.  
“You can’t fool me,” Tempestra said furiously. “I know it’s you.” She wagged her finger and said, “Make him Gamera now.”

With that, Don immediately changed into a Gamera, a giant monster that had the general configuration of a turtle, one that was able to walk on two legs and have the added ability of flying. Raph and Don gasped in horror at the huge monster before them that had a pronounced sagittal crest on the top of his head and teeth and a large pair of tusks protruding upward from the lower jaws. “Holy guacamole!” Mikey said, ducking for cover behind a large garbage bin.  
“Run!” Raph said, as Don, no longer knowing who he was or who they were, roared and proceeded to chase his brothers.

“Not so fast,” Tempestra said, using her kinetic powers to lift Raph into the air.  
“Put me down, ya temperamental witch!” Raph yelled.  
“I have plans for you, Donatello.”  
“I’m Raphael, ya twisted bitch. What’s the matter with ya? Bad hair day or something?”  
“ARGH! You are Raphael. Only he would say that! Donatello was him,” Tempestra said, pointing at the leaving Gamera, who having no one to chase,had decided to move on, scaring countless people as he passed them.  
“Put me down!”  
“Baby, be,” Tempestra said, smiling evilly and waggling another finger at Raph.

Immediately Raph began to shrink until he was a little,screaming baby, who flailed his limbs helplessly. Raph’s gear was now too big for him and fell to the floor. “Drop,” Tempestra said and Raph fell to the ground, landing on his carapace and letting out a loud wail. “Toodles, reptiles,” Tempestra said. “Time for me to continue destroying the city.” With that, Tempestra left.

Mikey rushed over to Raph and lifted him up. “Raph, are you okay?” Mikey asked, pressing the baby to his chest and rubbing his shell to soothe him. “Raphie? Oh, silly me. You can’t talk. I have to find Leo. He’ll know what to do.”

Huffing and puffing, Leo arrived and said, “Thank goodness the truck stopped. Ran as fast as I could to get here. Where are the guys, Mikey? And who’s that baby?”  
“Phew. You pong bad, bro! You need a bath.”  
“I know. Where are the guys? Wait a minute. That baby looks like Raph. Has his eyes and skin color. Raph, what happened?”  
“He can’t talk, bro. Tempestra changed Don into a giant Gamera. He started chasing us and we ran for cover, but Tempestra got Raph, changed him into a baby and then she split.”  
“And where’s Don now?”  
“Ran that way. Follow the screaming people.”  
“We have to find him, Mikey, and get cures for him and Raph.”

“Bah!” Raph said, reaching out for Leo with his chubby fingers.  
“Aww, cute,” Mikey said. “He likes you, Leo.”  
Leo took Raph in his arms and smiled. “I’ll get you back to normal, Raph,” Leo said, tickling Raph's chin and making him coo.

"Bah!” Raph said, feeling the urge to wee and gurgling as the wee trickled between his legs and landed on Leo’s leg.  
“Gross!” Leo said, feeling something wet on his leg and holding Raph at arm’s length. “That’s why he wanted to come to me! Yuck, Raph.” Raph just gurgled and looked at Leo with his large green eyes.  
“Mikey, get his gear and we’ll go home and look for a cure, but Raph first needs a bath.”

“No way, dude. I’m not doing that,” Mikey said, grinning. “Raphie’s all yours. You’ll make an awesome mother, Leo!”  
Leo growled at the comment and took off his bandanna to wipe Raph clean. Then he carried him into the van and sat down. After placing Raph’s gear in the van, Mikey took the steering wheel and they headed home.

I hope we find a cure, Leo thought, looking at Raph, who’d fallen asleep in his arms. We need him back to normal. The team’s not the same without him. And we need Don. We need to find a cure fast, before Don and Tempestra destroy the city.


	2. April's reaction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April's reaction to the news about Don and Raph. It's revealed that Leo and Raph used to be mates, but drifted apart after the death of their son, and April took advantage of it.

When Leo and Mikey arrived home with baby Raph, April stared at them and said, “Where did that baby come from, Leo? And where are Raph and Don?”  
“Don got changed into a Gamera and Raph….”  
“Don got what?” April demanded, glowering at Leo, hands on her hips. “You promised you’d bring him home safely.”

“Back off, dudette,” Mikey said. “It’s not Leo’s fault. Tempestra got the better of us, but we’ll find a cure to change him and Raph back.”  
“Change Raph back. Huh?” April said.

“Yes,” Leo said. “I was going to tell you that Raph’s been changed into a baby, April.”  
“This little thing’s Raph?” April asked, peering at the baby, who was nestled against Leo’s chest.  
“Yes. Cute, isn’t he? Want to hold him?” Leo asked, handing her the baby.

Raph bawled, not wanting to be apart from Leo, who he thought was his daddy, and wouldn’t stop crying until he was back in Leo’s arms. “Weird, Leo,” April said. “He was all over me yesterday and now he hates me.”  
“Cause he’s a little, sweet baby, who probably thinks I’m his daddy, don’t you, Raphie? And all you want is daddy, don’t you?” Leo asked, tickling Raph’s chin. Raph cooed gently and reached up for Leo’s bandanna with his chubby fingers. Leo smiled and said, “I guess that’s a yes. Don’t worry, April. We’ll change him back.”  
“It’s not him I’m worried about nor am I devastated that Raph’s a baby. It solves my problem.”

“Which is what, April?” Mikey asked.  
“I’ve wanted to dump him for weeks. Things just weren’t going the way I planned. He’s too domineering and messy and he snores. I’ve tried to break up with him multiple times, but I didn’t have the guts. If he hadn’t been so awesome in the sack with his ten inch cock, I’d have kicked him out months ago, because he didn’t satisfy me emotionally and definitely not intellectually. He’s only a tad smarter than an amoeba.”

“Whoa,” Leo said, taken aback. “Raph’s not stupid, April, and you never loved him?”  
“Not the way you did. I suggested the threesome to spice up Don and my sex life and I was definitely attracted to Raph, but he was essentially just sex. Leo, you always said you wanted a kid. Now’s your chance. Your very own son. I know it’s not the lover you want. You were crushed when Raph dumped you and went for me, but hey, better to have him as a baby than nothing, right?”  
“Wow. You’re quite a bitch!”  
“Look, I’m not. I loved Raph like I would Mikey; like a brother, but we just had sex. And you don’t want to hurt your brother, do you? That’s why I didn’t dump him.”  
“What if the baby’s Raph’s?”  
“I’ll raise him and if a cure’s found me and Don will raise him. Raph’s welcome to visit.”

“Visit where, April?” Mikey asked.  
“Mexico. Me and Don are moving there once the baby’s born. Anyway, I’m tired, so I’ll go lie down. Please find Don and cure him. I love him.”

“I’ve heard enough, April,” Leo said furiously. “And if it’s Raph’s kid, I’ll fight you on taking him away.”  
“You have no parental rights, Leo. I’m the mother, so good luck with that. Later.”

“Is she really going to take the baby away, Leo?” Mikey asked sadly. “She can’t, can she?”  
“I’m afraid she can, Mikey, but I’m hoping she’ll change her mind. I have to bath Raph.”  
“What about Don? He’s still out there terrorizing people, Leo.”  
“I know, but Raph’s the priority right now. He needs a bath, food and sleep. I’ll put him in the crib that he built for our…”Leo’s voice trailed off and Mikey patted his shoulder.  
“Leo, I’m sorry. I know it was hard when Raph left you for her after the baby died. I always thought he was making a huge mistake and I tried to talk to him about it, bro, but he told me to fuck off.  
“It’s fine, Mikey. I’m all right. After I’ve bathed and fed Raph, I have to talk to Dad. He’ll look after Raph while we go find Don.”

FLASHBACK SIX MONTHS EARLIER: SEPTEMBER 14

Raph and Leo were basking in the afterglow of their lovemaking, when Raph said, “Leo, I think it’s time ta explore new horizons.”  
“What? Like take a vacation?”  
“Yeah. A permanent vacation from each other. This isn’t workin’. Hasn’t been since Taine died. Ya and I both know it.” The mention of their son, who’d died at six hours old, from respiratory problems, sent a shiver down Leo’s spine. They hadn’t talked about his death at all, bottling it inside, and choosing to grieve in their own ways. Raph had spent most of his time lifting weights and tinkering with his bike and Leo had meditated. They hadn’t even slept in the same bed, let alone made love in months, so Leo had been surprised when his mate had tackled him in the dojo and dragged him off to the bedroom they’d once shared. Raph had moved out and been sleeping in his old room. And they’d barely talked, except when it was a necessity.

“Then why did you drag me in here and want sex, Raph?” Leo demanded.  
“I guess I wanted ta see if this could fix things. Try one last time and see if we could salvage things. Start over. But there’s nothin’, Leo.”  
“I still love you, Raph,” Leo said, blinking back tears.  
“Then why didn’t ya comfort me when he died?”  
“I tried. You pulled away. We both did.”  
“Couples who love one another don’t do that, Leo. We have nothin’ anymore. We’re like strangers and it’s best ta end this.”  
“We can still work things out if we talk, Raph. Don’t do this. I love you,” Leo pleaded, reaching out for Raph’s hand.  
Raph shifted away and said, “I’m not in love with ya anymore, Leo.”  
“That’s the real reason isn’t it, Raph?” Leo said, his gut churning with dread, as he waited for an answer. “Not our son. He’s just an excuse. Have the damn guts to be honest with me. I deserve that.”  
“It’s him, everythin’, and I’m in love with someone else.”  
“Who?”  
“April,” Raph said, standing up. “I’m curious ta see what it’d like ta be with a woman and she and Don have invited me ta be with them. I’m sorry, Leo, but it’s somethin’ I wanna do. She’s beautiful and she said she loves me. Told me when she kissed me this mornin'. This could be my chance ta have another kid. It’s not like ya wanted more, else ya’d have made love ta me and not pushed me away.”  
“I do. If you’d talked to me, you’d have known I want another kid with you, but…”  
“Goodbye, Leo,” Raph said, opening the door and leaving.  
Leo curled up into a ball and wept bitterly, his heart shattered into a million pieces.

That was the last time Raph and Leo had spoken privately, other than when forced to be together on patrol. It was awkward, unspoken, thick tension that hung between them like a dark cloud. A few hours after the break-up, Leo heard Raph’s churring in Don’s bedroom. He obviously was moving on. It hurt Leo more than it angered him and he thought, Raph’s right. We weren’t there for each other, like we should have been. If we had been, maybe things would be different now. I’m going to miss him so much. Miss having his strong arms around me and him lying beside me in bed. I’m going to miss his scent, our long talks, the way he makes me feel, like I’m special. I know I should be furious, but I’m sad more than anything, because I love him, despite everything, and I’d give anything to have him back, but I know he’s April’s now and I have to accept that and that Raph and I will never be close again.

BACK IN THE PRESENT: MARCH 18

Leo got in the bath with Raph and tenderly washed him all over. “I’m sorry, Raph,” Leo said. “You thought you found love with April and she was just using you. And I bet you were excited knowing you were going to be a dad again and now you won’t know that if we can’t find a cure. All you’ll know is that I’m your daddy. You won’t even remember that we dated.” Tears fell down Leo’s cheeks, as he scrubbed Raph’s shell. Raph reached up with his chubby fingers, touching Leo’s face and said, “Gaga. Bah.”  
“Yes, you’re a sweetie pie,” Leo said, managing a small smile. “I promise you, Raph, that Mikey and I will try to find a cure. You deserve to know your child if it is your child. Now, let’s dry you and get you some food.”

Leo dried Raph, took him into his bedroom, changed him in the diapers he and Raph had bought for Taine, but never used, and took him into the kitchen, cradling him and pressing kisses to his head. Leo prepared formula that Don had bought. When it was ready, Leo sat at the table; Raph cradled in his arms, and watched as Raph latched onto the bottle and started feeding, making sucking noises.

“And what do we have here?” Splinter asked, entering the kitchen. “A baby, Leonardo, who looks like Raphael? Is it his son?”  
“No, Master Splinter. It’s Raph. An evil woman turned him into a baby and she turned Don into a Gamera. We need to find a cure for them and we have to find Don, so can you watch Raph?”  
“Of course I will, Leonardo. How did April take the news?”  
Leo filled him in on what April had said, and added, “Raph’s my problem and she never loved him. Can you believe it?”  
“I can. I never thought she loved him like you did. I tried to warn Raphael, but he was always so stubborn and told me I was wrong. This must be difficult for you. Caring for him after all he did.”  
“No. I’ve forgiven Raph. I just feel heartsore that he was just a toy to her. He tossed us away, thinking he’d be happier with her and she never loved him. He doted on her and gave her his heart.”  
“Like he did to you.”  
“No, Raph and I loved one another. We just drifted apart and April was the final nail in the coffin when she promised him a kid. That’s what I think she did. Lured him with the promise of a kid and that’s why he left me.”  
“I do not think it’s all Miss O’ Neil’s fault. Raphael is to blame as well, Leonardo. It always takes two to tango.”  
“I guess so.” Raph finished his bottle and Leo burped him. Then Leo said, “I need to go out.”

Leo handed the baby to Splinter, but Raph screamed just like he had earlier and Leo quickly took him back, rocking him until he stopped crying and looked up at Leo, gently cooing. “He loves you, Leonardo,” Splinter said. “And thinks you are his father. I doubt he will let anyone else hold him. I will go with Michelangelo and find Donatello. You will remain with Raphael.”  
“But, Master Splinter…”  
“That is an order.”  
“Hai, Sensei. Would Raph be called a hatchling? He’s tiny.”  
“Yes, and his birthday would be today, March eighteenth. I must go now. We will find a cure, Leonardo.”  
“Sensei, do you think now that April’s dumped him and if he returns to normal, he’d want me back?”  
“I do not know, Leonardo, but I hope so. You and Raphael have always been a good fit. Not Miss O’ Neil. She belongs with Donatello. I must go.”

Leo looked down at Raph and said, “Did you hear that, Raph?” Of course there was no answer and Raph stared back at Leo with his huge green eyes and gurgled. Leo sighed and said, “Let’s go watch Space Heroes.”

Leo went to the lounge, turned on the TV and sat down on the sofa, Raph snuggled in his arms. Raph felt secure and loved and he closed his eyes. Daddy smells nice, Raph thought, but why does he smell so familiar? Have I met him before? Too tired to think, Raph fell asleep, but the answer would come to him later, when he’d unexpectedly make a connection on the astral plane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope they find Don soon.
> 
> Raph was with Mona when he was with Leo, but Leo doesn't know that. April lured Raph away from Mona and Leo.


	3. Taine's death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a flashback to the death of Leo and Raph's baby, Taine.

FLASHBACK NINE MONTHS EARLIER: JUNE 8

“The baby’s gonna be fine, right, Don?” Raph asked anxiously, looking at his olive skinned brother and then at the egg lying in the incubator. “The egg’s a little small, but the baby should be fine, right? We ain’t gonna lose him like we did the others, right? ‘Cause me and Leo can’t handle any more heartache. Ya should have heard Leo at night, cryin’. It killed me, because I couldn’t help him. This baby can’t die, ya hear me? Tell me he ain’t gonna die. We got a name picked for him, the nursery painted, bought toys. I’ve knitted him stuff.”  
“Raphael, the scan said that his lungs are underdeveloped. This means that the likelihood is that he’ll die soon after he hatches. I’ll do my best to help him, but I’m not a doctor and I don’t have the medical equipment to….”  
Pain flickered on Raph’s face and he said angrily, “So me and Leo have a baby, who hatches only ta die a while later? That’s fuckin’ unfair, Don. How am I supposed ta tell him this baby’s gonna die too? Ya know how he took the news last time. He barely ate, cried all the time. Fuck. Ya have any idea what it’s like ta tell yer mate yer baby’s gonna die and there’s nothin’ ya can do?”  
“If it helps, I’ll come with you to tell Leo. He’s meditating, right?”  
“I’ll tell him myself. Ya can help by ensurin’ the baby lives. Got it?” Raph growled. “Yer not gonna let him die, Don! Do ya hear me?”  
“Raph…”  
“DO YA HEAR ME? I’LL NEVER FORGIVE YA IF HE DIES.”  
“I’ll do my best, Raphie.”  
“Not good enough.”  
“Raphael….”  
“I mean it,” Raph yelled and stormed out of the room.

Raph went to the dojo and found Leo meditating. Sensing his presence, Leo opened his eyes and said, “Raphie, you look upset. Are you okay?”  
“I need ta tell ya somethin’,” Raph said, his throat feeling dry and his stomach tied up in knots. “It ain’t good.” He sat down and took Leo’s hands in his. “Ya know how much I love ya, right?”  
“Uh huh. I love you too and I always will.”  
Raph sucked in a deep breath and said, “Don asked me ta come ta the lab. Said he had somethin’ ta show me. The baby. Taine.”  
“He’s dead?” Leo asked fearfully.  
“No, Leo. He ain’t….”  
“So what’s wrong then? He’s fine, isn’t he?” Leo asked hopefully.  
Raph shook his head. “Don did tests and found that his lungs are underdeveloped. Leo, he’s probably gonna hatch and die not long after that. Don will try ta keep him alive, but he doesn’t have the medical equipment like a hospital does. I’m sorry, Leo. We’re…  
“NO!” Leo screamed, pain etched on his face. “No, no, no. Raphie, say it’s not true? The baby’s going to be okay? Raphie!”  
Raph’s eyes filled with tears and his heart broke, as he studied his anguished mate. “No, Leo. He’s not…”  
“I need to be alone,” Leo said, springing to his feet, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“No,” Raph said jumping to his feet and pulling Leo into a hug. “We need ta deal with this together, Leo. I need ya and ya need me. Don’t shut me out. I’m grievin’ too. We’ll get through it, Leo, but we need ta stick together. Work through it together.” In answer, Leo held onto him tightly, his sobs wracking his body. “I love ya, Leo, and I promise ya we’ll get through it. We will,” Raph said over and over again, like a mantra, wanting to believe it, but deep down he didn’t feel that they’d be okay. After three miscarriages and now this, Raph felt that this could be the death of their relationship. Their relationship couldn’t survive another shattering loss.

FOUR DAYS LATER: JUNE 12

Leo was in the lab for a medical check-up, Raph seated on a chair close by, watching, when there was a cracking sound. “It’s the baby, guys,” Don said, looking at the egg. “He’s hatching. Come and see.”

The anxious parents watched the baby hatch. They studied the emerald skinned and emerald eyed tot, who was the spitting image of Raph. Their eyes clouded when they heard the little boy gasp, desperate for air. Raph put an arm around Leo, who was trying not to cry. “He’s gonna be okay, right, Don?” Raph asked, knowing the answer, but hoping, desperately hoping that Don had been wrong with his diagnosis. “No, Raph,” Don said, scooping up the baby and kissing his forehead. “He’s not and he needs you and Leo. To sing to him. To soothe him until he passes. He needs to know he’s loved.”  
“How long will take it take for him ta…?” Raph couldn’t get the words out, as he blinked back tears.  
“Anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours.”

“I can’t do this,” Leo said, bolting out of the room.  
Raph watched his mate leave and made to go after him, but Don stopped him and said, “No, the baby needs you, Raph. Be here for him. Leo can wait. Take your son.”

Don handed Raph his son and Raph said, “What do I do, Don?”  
“Firstly, does he have a name?”  
“Yeah, Taine Leonardo.”  
“Sing to Taine, Raphie. Sing to him and tell him how much you love him. He needs to know. I know it’s hard, Raphie, but you have to.”

Tears streamed down Raph’s cheeks as he rocked his son and sang to him. Six hours later, Taine took his last breath and Raph looked down at him. The baby had a smile on his face and Raph kissed him tenderly, more tears running down his tear-stained face. “He’s gone,” Raph choked out. “He’s gone, Don.”  
“It’s going to be okay, Raphie,” Don said, taking the baby, placing it in the incubator and hugging his brother. “It’s going to be okay. I promise. You and Leo will get through this. I know you will.”

Raph pulled away, looked at his son and said, “What now, Don?”  
“We have to bury him and soon. You’re so brave, Raphie, for staying with him.”

In answer, Raph looked at his son one last time and ran out of the room and out of the lair until he found a place he went to when he wanted to be alone. He punched a wall until his knuckles bled, distracting him from his inner pain. Me and Leo just wanted ta be parents. Why can’t we be fuckin’ parents, Raph thought, smashing his fist into the wall? We’d be good parents. I know we would. Fuck. Then Raph let out an anguished cry and sank to the ground, his head in his hands and he wept unashamedly, until he could cry no more.

When Raph had arrived home, there’d been no sign of Leo. Raph had called his phone repeatedly, but had gotten no answer. Raph buried their son and when Leo returned home a week later, Raph said, “Leo, I wanna talk. We need ta talk.”  
“I’m meditating.”  
“Again? We need ta talk, Leo. As a couple. Don’t ya think it’s hard for me too? I need ya, Leo.”  
“I don’t want to talk and I’m fine. Now, leave me alone.”  
“Leo!”  
“NOW, RAPHAEL. I’M BUSY!”

Raph had left him alone and given him space, but Leo was still uncommunicative months later. Grief-stricken and without his mate’s support and love, Raph locked himself away, lifting weights, tinkering with his bike, doing everything he could to take his mind off of the baby. I knew it, Raph thought sadly, as he finished a set of weights. Taine’s death was the death of our relationship. Me and Leo have nothin’ left. No love, nothin’. Just sadness and an empty cot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Raph and Leo.


	4. April's anguish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raph chats to Taine on the astral plane and April experiences a devastating loss.

Mikey and Splinter followed the sounds of screaming people and located Don by the entrance to Central Park. He was breathing fire, clearly pissed-off and was about to pick up a man, who was waving his umbrella at him, trying to ward him off. “Donatello,” Splinter said. “Donatello, my son.”

The Gamera looked at the aged rat, but he didn’t recognize him. “It is, your Sensei,” Splinter said. The man stopped and ran away, grateful that Donatello’s attention was now elsewhere. “Come home, Donatello,” Splinter said. “We will find a cure. Come with me and your brother, Michelangelo.”

“No!” Donatello roared, breathing fire and swishing his tail at Splinter and Mikey, narrowly advoiding them, as they stepped away. “You will give me to scientists. You bad.” He breathed fire again and bared his sharp teeth.

 

“It’s no use, Sensei,” Mikey said. “He doesn’t remember us.”

 

“Maybe he will remember your brothers,” Splinter said. “Show him some photos.”

 

Mikey pulled out his phone from his obi and held it up for Donatello to see. “These are our brothers, Leo and Raph, and here’s our friend, April, Donnie. Do you see them?”

 

The Gamera stared at the phone in fascination and mumbled, “April. My April.”

 

“That’s right,” Mikey said. “April and she’s back home. We can take you to her, but you have to trust us, Donnie.”

 

“I come,” Don said. “But you lie, I kill you.”

 

“She’s waiting for you, Donnie,” Mikey said. “Come on.”

 

Splinter and Mikey headed home with Don following them. “How are we going to get him in the manhole, Sensei?” Mikey whispered.

 

“I don’t know,” Splinter said. “But we will try our best.”

 

XXX

 

Meanwhile, Raph was lying in his cot in Leo’s room, when he made a connection on the astral plane. “Who are ya?” Raph asked, seeing a figure exactly like him. “And why do ya look like me?”

 

“Taine, your son.”

 

“But I’m a baby. How can I have a son?” Raph asked, wrinkling his snout in confusion.

 

“You’re not really. You got turned into a baby and you and Daddy Leo had me, but I died. Think back.”

 

“Oh. So that’s why my Daddy smells so familiar. I wondered why he did and that’s why he’s so sad when he looks at me. He’s rememberin’ our time together.”

 

“Yes, Daddy, and he remembers when I died. That’s why you guys broke up. You were both grieving, but turned away from one another and then you hooked up with April. That made Daddy very, very sad and she doesn’t even love you. You were just sex and now she’s pregnant.”

 

“My baby? I don’t understand and I’m hungry and I need changin’. This is all too much ta take in.”

 

“Yeah, because you’re a baby and it’s harder to think for long periods of time. You love Daddy Leo, you just got blinded by April.”

 

“I still don’t understand.”

 

“It’s okay, Daddy,” Taine said, and patted Raph’s head. “I know it’s confusing. Just lie back and Daddy Leo will come and change you in a few minutes.”

 

“Let me get this straight. I was with Leo, we had a baby, ya, and ya died. I got with April, she never loved me and she’s pregnant?”

 

“Yes, but don’t worry the baby’s not yours. It’s Uncle Donnie’s.”

 

“Am I gonna be a baby forever?”

 

Hearing noises from his bedroom, Leo went into the room and picked up Raph breaking his connection with Taine. Raph was furious and cried lustily, flailing his limbs. “Raphie, it’s Daddy,” Leo said and kissed his cheek. “It’s okay, my boy. I think you need changing, huh?” Leo felt Raph’s diaper and said, “Yes, you do. Daddy’s going to change you and then maybe some more formula and a lullaby.”

 

No, Raph thought. Not formula. Cure, Leo. “Bah. Gagaga.”

 

“Aww. You’re too cute,” Leo said, and tickled his chin, making Raph unwillingly coo. Then Leo changed his diaper and said, “All changed, my sweet boy.” He lifted Raph into his strong arms and carried him into the kitchen.

 

Leo set Raph into the carrycot on a chair and was preparing the formula when April entered the kitchen. “Hello, Leo,” she said.

 

“Hello,” Leo said frostily.

 

“No cure yet?”

 

“Does it look like there is one? I’m making formula for Raph.”

 

“Any news on Don?”

 

“No.”

 

“Find one, Leo,” April snapped. “The baby needs a father.”

 

“Who might be Raph.”

“Maybe, but my gut says it’s Donnie’s. It won’t be so bad if Raph stays a baby. You get the kid you’ve always wanted.”

 

“Screw you, April,” Leo hissed, turning around and glaring at her. “Me and Raph had an amazing relationship until you poked your nose in and decided that you wanted him.”

 

“BS, Leo,” April said coolly, getting up into his face and wagging a finger. “Your relationship was already over months earlier. You just hadn’t ended it. Raph was a mess and I helped patch him up. Do you know that he thought about killing himself when the baby died? No, of course you didn’t. You weren’t there for him! You were too wrapped up in yourself, so don’t you go pointing fingers at me. You failed your mate, Leo, and now look at him. A pathetic little baby. I hope he stays that way! Why don’t you give up the cure quest, Leo? He’s too beautiful as a baby and you get to be a daddy. You won’t if you find a cure.”

 

“Bah!” Raph wailed, hating the fighting. “Bah!” April’s a bitch, he thought. Yellin’ at Leo like that.

 

“Your son needs you, Leo,” April said snidely. “Oh and Raphael said that I was better in the sack than you.”

 

“It’s okay, Raphie,” Leo said, scooping Raph into his arms. “Daddy’s here.”

 

“Leo,” Raph tried to say and it came out as “Gag.”

 

“Too sweet. You have to agree, Leo,” April said.

 

“Yes, he’s gorgeous,” Leo said. “But I will find a cure. I promised him.”

 

“Promises often end in disappointment, Leo. Look at your relationship. Didn’t you two promise to be there for each other throughout your lives?” April said cruelly. “Look how that turned out.”

 

“Shut the fuck up, bitch,” Leo growled and bared his teeth.

 

“Oh, I’m so scared, Leo. Yelling at a pregnant woman. That’s so tough of you.”

 

Bitch, shut up, Raph thought, burying his head against Leo’s plastron. What did I see in ya? Why did I leave Leo? Why didn’t we work things out?

 

“I feel strange,” April said, feeling a strange sensation in her chest “Leo, I think I’m….” Before she could end her sentence, she slumped to the ground with a dull thud.

 

“April?” Leo said. “April?” Getting no response, Leo placed Raph in his carrycot and crouched down and checked April’s pulse. Faint, but at least there’s a pulse, Leo thought. What the hell is wrong with her?

 

XXX

 

Splinter and Mikey had somehow managed to get Don down a manhole, and had just arrived at the lair. They went into the kitchen and their eyes bugged when they saw Leo and a prone April. “April!” Don roared, his eyes blazing. “You hurt April!”

 

“No, I didn’t, Donnie,” Leo said. “April fell. I think she had a heart attack or something, but she’s alive. I have to get her to the infirmary.”

 

“APRIL!” Don roared again, lifting a claw and touching her cheek. “April.”

 

April opened her eyes and muttered weakly, “So cold.”

 

“April.”

 

“Donnie?”

 

Don nuzzled her neck and said, “Baby.”

 

“Donnie, I fell. I think I….” Then April’s eyes slid closed again.

 

“Is she dead?” Don demanded.

 

“No,” Leo said, checking her pulse again. “But she needs to get to the infirmary. Sensei, stay with the baby, please.”

 

“Yes, Leonardo,” the elderly rat said, and lifted Raph into his arms, pressing kisses to his forehead, as the baby wailed for Leo.

 

XXX

 

Leo carried April into the infirmary and placed her onto a stretcher. It was then that he saw blood between her legs and fear crept into his heart. He knew what it was, because he’d been there more than once. April’s had a miscarriage, Leo thought. And I need to stop the blood flow. He quickly got to work getting towels and trying to staunch the blood flow.

 

“April dead?” Don asked, tears sliding down his cheeks.

 

“No,” Leo said. “She isn’t. I’m doing all I can to try and help her, Donnie.”

 

“GET AWAY FROM HER!” Don shouted, breathing fire and racing to April’s side.

 

“I’m trying to help her, Donnie,” Leo said. “You have to…”

 

But Don refused to back off and bared his teeth at Leo and, not knowing what to do now that he was a Gamera, all he did was cry and threaten Leo. And all Leo could do was watch helplessly as April continued to bleed out.

 

“Donnie, let me help her,” Leo said a few minutes later. “I have to. Donnie, if I don’t, she’ll die. Donnie…”

 

“She’s mine,” Donnie growled. “Don’t trust you!”

 

Leo shoved his Gamera brother aside and managed to stop the bleeding, but to his great horror, April was out cold again. And he knew why. She’s gone into a coma, he thought. And all we can do is pray she’ll wake up. There’s nothing else I can do.

 

Leo sucked in a deep breath and said, “Donnie, stay with April. I need some air.”

 

“April dead?” Don asked anxiously.

 

“I don’t know. I will be back now. Stay with her.”

 

XXX

 

Leo went into the kitchen and retrieved Raph from Splinter. Holding him tightly, he kissed him on the cheek and said, “I love you, Raphie.”

 

“How’s Miss O’Neil?” Splinter asked.

 

“In a coma. I did all I could, but she lost a lot of blood from the miscarriage and the egg’s still inside of her, Dad. I don’t know how to cut it out.”

 

“I’ll do that, my son. You stay with Raphael.”

 

“You’ll have to get past Donnie. He’s very possessive.”

 

“Donatello trusts me, my son. I will do what I can,” Splinter said and placed a paw on Leo’s shoulder. “Get some rest, Leonardo. I will stay with Miss O’ Neil. You look exhausted.”

 

“I will try, Sensei.”

 

Left alone with Raph, Leo kissed him again and said, “April’s right, though. You’re a very adorable baby, Raphie, but as tempted as I am to keep you a baby, I promised you I’d find you a cure. I’ll do my best and maybe once you’re back to normal, you won’t hate me anymore. I’m sorry I shut you out. I was consumed by grief and too selfish to see that you were too. I’d give anything to change that, Raphie. I know I can’t, but I’d settle for you not hating me.”

 

I don’t hate ya, Leo, Raph thought. Not at all. I was so stupid ta give up on us, Leo, and ta go for April. I should have fought harder for us.

 

“I know it’s crazy, but if you changed back and we tried again… I’m crazy thinking it could happen, because you hate me, but if you did and we had a baby girl, I’d love to name her Christina, like we talked about before we knew that we were expecting a boy. What do you think? Why am I asking you?” Leo said with a sigh. “You don’t know what I mean.”

 

Yeah, I do, Leo, Raph thought. I love the name and wanna name our baby girl that. And if you change me back, I’m gonna tell ya how sorry I am for breakin’ yer heart. And it ain’t ya who should ask for forgiveness, it’s me. I abandoned ya. Can ya forgive me? I don’t deserve it, but I hope ya will.

 

Leo carried Raph into his bedroom, kissed him on the cheek, placed him in his crib and went to the lab to look for a cure for his brothers.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can Leo find a cure?

**Author's Note:**

> How will April handle the news?
> 
> Tempestra was from a video game that Leo played in the 1980's TMNT and she came to life.


End file.
